The Age of Ten

The age of nine was significant (you can read more about it in my post The Age of Nine). We witnessed remarkable growth, several setbacks, and the beginnings of independence in our amazing LM. He became more aware of the world, specifically world problems. He carried a grave concern for children displaced from war, and he worried about the state of our fragile earth. He bore much responsibility in his extra-curricular activities and held down a regular voice acting job in addition to schooling. He was incredibly busy as well as productive, all the while learning, growing, and evolving. It was a challenging year for us all, but we got through it. He got through it.

And now he is ten. 

In all truthfulness, this age – this current developmental stage – has been a little easier to parent. All the struggles experienced at the age of nine, have begun to mellow. There are fewer tempers, which means that our not-so-little LM is learning to manage his very big emotions. He demonstrates active listening, and is taking initiative in his schoolwork and responsibilities. He meets expectations and is slowly understanding how his choices directly impact not only himself but also those around him. He remains committed to finding ways to help others and better the world around him. He demonstrates kindness first, and is learning patience and forgiveness.

These are not the only changes we are witnessing. He is keen to participate in group activities, having joined two school teams and a club, in addition to his martial arts, film class, and voice acting. He is busy, but managing it with relative ease, and he is having fun, enjoying his commitments as well as the camaraderie they bring. It’s heartwarming to watch him emerge from his shell – his place of quiet – and tackle new and intimidating experiences with confidence and courage. I watch him from the sidelines, and I have to wonder to myself who is this remarkable child!

It has not been without strife and some setbacks that we have all gotten this far. I have to give my husband and myself a pat on the back. Through the incredibly challenging moments that presented themselves last year, we remained consistent with our parenting, centred, and focused. That’s not to say we didn’t scold, and sometimes yell. We did. However, we maintained clear expectations with our amazing LM, and we always talked through the difficult moments. We would listen to his concerns, and we would share ours with him. By treating our child as a person, not a possession, we established a level of mutual respect. From this, we developed a greater level of trust, empathy, and understanding within our family unit.

Now our child is emerging from his strife, both confident and tenacious. With this, comes a prominent streak of independence. LM walks home from school on his own, spends more time in his room, away from us, and will make [small] decisions without always consulting us first. It is startling, but it is to be expected. He is maturing. He has acquired the knowledge, and confidence to demonstrate self-reliance. I am proud of our amazing LM. This is a very big step for him. However, if I am being truthful, I am saddened for myself. Slowly diminishing, are times spent together – afternoons at the farm, nature hikes, days at the park, walks to/from school, bedtime stories, lullabies, and drawing/art. Those quiet, special moments I shared with my son are changing – evolving just as he is – and I find myself now learning how to connect with him in different ways. I am both saddened by the loss of those beloved moments, and joyous to celebrate this new stage he is in.  

When I think back to those tender moments in 2015, when I did not know if I would be here to parent my child as he grows, I am stunned to realize just how many stages and phases I have guided him through. And here I am – thankfully alive – parenting through this new stage. I am grateful that I shared so many wonderful moments with my child over the years – memories I carry everyday in my heart. And, I love that I can be here with him now to help navigate this new age and stage – this tenacious age of ten.

The Age of Ten. Published by Crystal Joy Hall

Featured image by Misho Gugulashvili