I know that I have not posted to my blog in 16 weeks. Although it was not my intent to stay away, it was important that I did. I was not in a good place. I have been struggling with challenges pressed upon me. These challenges have not yet passed, but I have persevered. Although I wish that I could have a moment of peace from the difficulties endured, I wish even more that I could speak openly about these challenges, and share my recent life experiences with honesty, integrity, and vulnerability. But, I cannot. I am bound by silence.
What I can share, is that the year 2025 did not go as hoped. It was a year of milestone moments in our little family of three – my milestone birthday, my son’s graduation from elementary school, my 10-year cancerversary, and 5 years from the completion of my cancer treatment. And so, 2025 was meant to be a year spent celebrating these milestone moments. I actually had high hopes for 2025. However, it all went a little sideways – okay – a lot sideways. And I find myself reflecting on this year, wondering, How did it all go so … wrong? I wish I knew.
This isn’t to say that we did not have wonderful moments to appreciate in the year 2025. We did! We had an amazing adventure in Dublin, Ireland; we celebrated our son’s graduation; we enjoyed get-aways; and we had lovely visits with our family as well as our friends. We have a lot to be thankful for. However, the challenges faced this year have been relentless. I initially approached it with positivity – an exciting opportunity for new beginnings – but that was not what circumstances surrounding me permitted. And so, it all went sideways …
Life is like that though, isn’t it? We do not always get a choice. We simply don’t. We do, however, get to choose how we respond.
Reflecting on my life in this past year, I know that I had moments of vulnerability and moments where I just … broke; but I also had SISU – determination, resilience, tenacity, and perseverance. I stepped way outside of my comfort zone to defend and protect my little family of three, and by doing so, I rediscovered my self pride and sense of self-worth. I have picked myself up and dusted myself off time and again, and I keep going forward with kindness in my heart and a smile on my face. I now know that I can remain true to myself throughout all the turbulence this year has tossed my way.
Just as the Year of the Snake symbolizes – I have, most definitely, experienced change and challenge in this past year – whether forced upon me or by choice. I am coping. I am adapting. I know this may all sound cryptic. But, I think many of you can relate. We are all faced with unexpected challenges. We are all tested at some point in our lives. But, we are fluid; and forever learning and evolving. We are like the snake. We shed our skin and grow – embracing new challenges and changes. Sometimes, these challenges and/or changes are pushed upon us, as it has been for me. Sometimes, we seek the new, feeling both embolden and eager. The important thing for all of us to remember, including me, is that this is what living life is all about. We live the ups and the downs. What makes me so grateful through all of this – every single day – is the love and kindness that surrounds me. The love of my husband, son, family, and friends, and the kindnesses of those who believe in me, and genuinely want to help. I am so grateful.
It is a new year. I am unsure of what this year will bring, or what choices I will make. All I know is that I will give it my best, be true to myself, and carry on gratitude in my heart.
A Year in Reflection. Published by Crystal Joy Hall
Featured Image by Ben Mack
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