It is my 4th New Year’s post breast cancer and this marks the first New Year in which I have felt a shift occur. A shift in energy; a shift within me. You see, with each new year since my diagnosis comes the inner battle of I hope this is a year I remain cancer-free immediately accompanied by a fear of what if my cancer returns this year – an awful thought to have – I know. And please do not lecture me on Mind over Matter, I am already aware of the power of suggestion and the power of thought. Realize that these thoughts do happen in cancer survivors. They are very normal and they must be allowed to pass because suppressing these dark thoughts creates negative energy, which in turn manifests within. Give yourself permission to let it go. Acknowledge it and breath it out – a technique I have relied on for a little more than 3 years and do find it helps. I laugh and smile more than I quiver and cry. And I think that, because I have remained cognizant of my feelings and my thoughts I have felt that shift. It is small but it is mighty.
This shift in energy is what brings me to my belief that this will be a year of adventure. I really do not know what this year has in store for me, for my family, for anyone. Of course no one knows or can know. But what I feel is very significant – to me – and for the first time in over 3 years I feel a profound sense of calm and awakening. I feel like I can breathe a sigh of … I am not sure … perhaps relief? It does not feel like a new beginning, more like a deeper sense of self and surrounding. And I cannot help but feel that I am on the cusp of an adventure.
By adventure, I mean being open to the possibility of having exciting experiences and making bold choices. It is not normally my tradition to make New Year’s Resolutions. I do not plan to achieve a particular set goal or undertaking. My resolution (if we can call it that) is an aim to alter my mindset. Instead of tirelessly chasing after a particular opportunity and getting frustrated when it does not come to fruition – which is my normal course of action – I intend to welcome in the new and unique opportunities presenting themselves to me. In other words, I plan to be open to whatever exciting or unexpected experiences that may come my way. I endeavour to take risks – challenging myself – thereby pursuing a year of adventure.
That is what I aim for. Adventure.
What will your year be?
2019…A Year of Adventure. Published by Crystal Joy Hall
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