I remember when I was younger – much younger – I could not imagine what my life would be like when I reached adulthood. I simply couldn’t envision any aspect of my life. I didn’t imagine the house, the career, the family … I was just me. I was whimsical. I was living in the moment, and following my passions and pursuits. I was a daydreamer. I was creative. I was young. I was naive. I was me.
Today is my 40-something birthday. I do not feel older. I do not feel wiser. I just feel like me. Yet I am very grateful to be aging. I am grateful to have another birthday to celebrate with family and friends. If surviving cancer [twice] has revealed anything to me, it has shown me that life should be valued – you should value your life. You should live within the moment, appreciate your bountiful gifts, and be present with those that make your heart happy. You should do what excites you, energizes you; and be with those whom you want to share your stories and experiences with. Value your time. Cherish your life. And I knew this. I unknowingly knew all of this when I was that whimsical, creative, daydreaming child. So, was I really naive or was I wise beyond my years? I have to stop and wonder how many of us, once we are an adult, forget to value all that our lives have to offer? How often do we forget to place value on what – and whom – is truly important?
I remember when my Oncologist released me from his care. His parting words were “Go and live your life”. I was dumbfounded. I couldn’t understand how I was expected to go and live my life. I was just diagnosed with and treated for breast cancer only 9 short months after I was told I had thyroid cancer. These are life-altering events. How was I supposed to just move on? I struggled with this notion for many, many, many months. Yet, here I am, 31 months later, finally beginning to understand. I understand what he was encouraging me to do. He was essentially reminding me to value my life. Go and live it. Go and love it. Invest in the time I have, the people I cherish, and the dreams I wish to pursue. He was giving me his blessing as well as his encouragement. Because, you can choose to live in the past trauma that you have endured or you can choose to accept it, and – as I mentioned in my post Perhaps…Just Perhaps – find a way to journey onward, learning to share space with it … learning a new normal.
And that is what I am doing. I am learning to redefine myself – for who I am not what I have endured – and I am focusing on being present and being mindful. I am redefining my passions and pursuits, and allowing myself to be open to new dreams and new challenges. I am living my life and forgetting my age. I am sharing space with my trauma and looking to the horizon. Because you are never too old to live.
Forget Your Age. Published by Crystal Joy Hall
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