Spring is a time of new beginnings. It is a promise of letting go and starting anew. As winter holds us firmly and unrelentingly in her grasp this season, we need this promise of new beginnings – more than ever – as our shining light through the bleakness of this transitional time of year.
New beginnings can signify a range of transformations – taking courage to embrace something that is unfamiliar, different, or unique. It can be as simple as a spring cleaning of house and home; or a new hairstyle; or a new wardrobe. It can be as momentous as the changing of careers; choosing to embark on new ambitions; or dusting off suppressed dreams. Transitions in life are inevitable. Some we have the courage to control – others are forced upon us. But we always have the choice on how we wish to seize these transformations – how we approach them, shape them, and redefine ourselves to make the most of these transitional moments that we find ourselves in.
Since both my thyroid and my breast cancer diagnosis I have felt as though my life has been on hold. I do push forward, and I work hard at healing; I blog and share my stories to hopefully reach others so they know that they are not alone in their personal journey. I live my life day-to-day, but I have been hesitant and a little frightened at making plans for my future. I’ve been complacent and I am now cognizant of this. It is not healthy. In my defence – I’ve been scared. I had a lot happen to me in a very short period of time, during a time in my life that was meant to be for Liam. A part of me feels robbed of those innocent days of parenting – my life as a parent was altered and I feel some injustice in that. I think all young women who are diagnosed with breast cancer must, in some part, feel this way – their choices stolen, their dreams altered. This is an example of the transitions that can be forced upon a person. It was forced upon me, and thousands of others like me.
In the past couple of weeks I’ve had a lot of time to contemplate my life of late – the challenges I have faced, the upward battles that I had to conquer, and how I have worked hard at spinning these difficult moments that impacted my life into positive transformations. And during my pondering I have begun to wonder where, exactly, I wish to grow to; how I wish to further transform, and what courageous choices I will make.
I don’t think there are any absolute answers to my questions – not as yet. But I am excited to have these musings, because they signify a further letting go of my gripping fear [of reoccurrence]; and I find that I am turning my focus to these current moments in time as well as to the dreams of my future.
New beginnings are relevant. They give us hope. They may even ignite our spunk. I know I’m feeling just a little bit more tenacious with my choices and my pursuits. My spark is back – in little flits and flutters – which is more than I have had since June of 2015. I’m grateful for that, because just a few short weeks ago I was feeling stuck and restless – frustrations I outlined in my post So Much Living to Do. And so, I am embracing these transitions, these new beginnings, and I am making bold choices. They may be small choices – for now – but they are significant. I’m scared, but I am excited.
What will be your new beginning?
New Beginnings. Published by Crystal Joy Hall