Someone once said to me ‘I don’t know how you do it.’ I told them ‘I wasn’t given a choice.’ – author unknown I wasn’t given a choice. I am 4 months away from my 5-year cancerversary. It is an overwhelming milestone to be on the cusp of. When I think back on this journey I am surprised at the depths of…
Courage
I sit here, on this bleak and dismal December morning, with my head spinning – how is Christmas only 15 days away? I am not ready for this. I am not feeling that Christmas Spirit one expects to feel this time of year. What I have been feeling is anxious, stressed, and fatigued. And it is greatly affecting me –…
Living in a society that worships outward beauty and perceived perfection can be difficult for those of us who bear visible scars. We are not perfect. We are flawed – but – we are alive, we have survived, and we have a story to tell. Each scar tells a story. Within that story is often a lesson. Within that lesson…
I am not going to lie. This was a tough summer. I gave everything I could to parenting my son – making his summer months fun and memorable; and then adulting in-between (work, running a household, being a wife, etc.). There was no time for self-love or for self-reflection. I did not have a moment’s breath for me. It was…
June is an emotional month. Four years ago, in a span of just 22 days I underwent a mammogram, breast ultrasound, biopsies, MRI, further biopsies, genetic testing, diagnosis, and then a mastectomy. It was a whirlwind of fearful emotions. It was all too raw and real. And each June I relive these moments – these cancerversaries – yet with each…
I recently had my mammogram. This particular test causes considerable scanxiety within me. In the weeks leading up to, and the days that follow afterward, I feel a great sense of restlessness, angst, apprehension, and vulnerability. Though the mammogram itself is bearable – it is the psychological link to remembering what occurred 4 years ago that I find arduous. I…
This has been an emotional week of good-byes for me. Three big partings. Three momentous endings. My mother, a proprietor of a beautiful Home Decor & Giftware store has retired. This is the final week of business. On Sunday, her doors will close forever. It is a realization that is hard to comprehend. I’ve watched her grow her store into…
Life has many ways of testing a person’s will, either by having nothing happen at all or by having everything happen all at once. – Paulo Coelho I am struggling. I am struggling with the long, cold, harsh, bleak days hanging down on us. I am struggling because this time of year brings back vivid memories that are hard to…
Today is Valentine’s Day. Fourteen years ago, on this day, I went on a date that altered my life forever… In my posts I talk a lot about cancer, about my own personal strifes, and about the challenges of being a Mom. But today, I want to talk about marriage. Truthfully, I have talked about my marriage before in my…
And so the dreariness continues. It seeps into my everyday and the weight of it bears down on me. These winter days are harsh, unrelenting, unpredictable, and exhausting. We don’t have the cold, bright blue skies and glistening snow to be able to go outside and enjoy the season – no snow forts, no snow angels, no tobogganing… as I…