In all the universe, in all time, you are the only you.
What if you don’t know who you are anymore? What if you look in the mirror and the person reflected is not a person you recognize. What if it is a person you are struggling to identify with?
In my life I have been a daughter, a sister, a friend, a wife, a mother, a student, a writer, a poet, an actor, a photographer, an editor, a cancer survivor, a blogger. I have been many things, experienced many things – all things that define me as a person.
But who am I now? How can I define myself? I can define myself based on social identity. To do so would be trusting the perspective of others and believing someone else’s idea of me. But that is not self. Perhaps it is all moments, experiences, and judgments – both personal and external – that define me. Perhaps that is what defines any and all of us.
Self identity. It is everything that encompasses oneself – me – you. It is a combination of all things self.
I feel a little lost. I stepped into many roles throughout my life, donning a persona and playing the character I defined for myself within that moment, within that time. And now, I feel disconnected from the face that reflects in the mirror. Who am I? Where do I fit in? What defines me as me?
Questions I have not asked myself in 20 years. Have I been sleepwalking? Perhaps. Or, perhaps, in these past 20 years I have undergone a series of metamorphoses – evolving in character, appearance, and even circumstance. Perhaps the journeys I have embarked upon – some willingly and some circumstantial – have led me to this moment in time. This moment, where a face that looks back at me is a ghost of the person I once knew. It is a face I struggle to recognize.
Should I be concerned?
If I am holding on to ideas, ambitions, and roles that no longer benefit me then yes, I should be concerned. But, if I am willing to embrace the change – the metamorphoses – then perhaps this can be an exciting turning point in my life. Maybe I am shedding the personas that I have outgrown and am opening myself up to new experiences and altered self.
“Identity cannot be found or fabricated, but emerges from within when one has the courage to let go.” – Doug Cooper
I am evolving as a woman – a person – to something, someone remarkable. It is time to embrace the changes happening within me. It is time to find the courage to let go.
Life isn’t about finding oneself. It is about creating oneself. Who do I wish to become … who do you wish to become?
You Are The Only You. Published by Crystal J Hall
Featured Image by Shvets Production
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