In my previous post [from past New Year’s] 2019…A Year of Adventure I talked about a shift within me – a small but mighty shift. I mused over what the year had in store for me – adventure. However, as I reflect on 2019 I am acutely aware of the hardships, the losses, the good-byes, and the unexpected setbacks I…
Self-Reflection
Contemplating and reflecting on present feelings, hopeful dreams, life ambitions, and new beginnings.
I sit here, on this bleak and dismal December morning, with my head spinning – how is Christmas only 15 days away? I am not ready for this. I am not feeling that Christmas Spirit one expects to feel this time of year. What I have been feeling is anxious, stressed, and fatigued. And it is greatly affecting me –…
Living in a society that worships outward beauty and perceived perfection can be difficult for those of us who bear visible scars. We are not perfect. We are flawed – but – we are alive, we have survived, and we have a story to tell. Each scar tells a story. Within that story is often a lesson. Within that lesson…
I am not going to lie. This was a tough summer. I gave everything I could to parenting my son – making his summer months fun and memorable; and then adulting in-between (work, running a household, being a wife, etc.). There was no time for self-love or for self-reflection. I did not have a moment’s breath for me. It was…
I began acupuncture as a third method of healing in this breast cancer journey of mine, just a little over a year ago, not realizing that it would unleash powerful emotions, bring forth my subconscious into conscious, and cause immense shifts from within [as explored in my posts This is Grief and Without Water There Can Be No Life]. It…
Life has been busy, of late, and with the varied activities, obligations, and responsibilities I’ve been tasked with I have not had time to reflect. I have not been able to gather my thoughts. I have felt jumbled and unfocused in my writing, and I have been feeling stumped. I know that all of this is self-induced and that it…
This has been an emotional week of good-byes for me. Three big partings. Three momentous endings. My mother, a proprietor of a beautiful Home Decor & Giftware store has retired. This is the final week of business. On Sunday, her doors will close forever. It is a realization that is hard to comprehend. I’ve watched her grow her store into…
And so the dreariness continues. It seeps into my everyday and the weight of it bears down on me. These winter days are harsh, unrelenting, unpredictable, and exhausting. We don’t have the cold, bright blue skies and glistening snow to be able to go outside and enjoy the season – no snow forts, no snow angels, no tobogganing… as I…
It has been a struggle to write, of late. I am not sure why. Perhaps I have not felt inspired, or perhaps I have just felt exhausted. Perhaps it is a combination of the two afflictions; I am not inspired because I am so exhausted – physically, mentally, and emotionally. My body is tired. My brain is in a fog….
It is my 4th New Year’s post breast cancer and this marks the first New Year in which I have felt a shift occur. A shift in energy; a shift within me. You see, with each new year since my diagnosis comes the inner battle of I hope this is a year I remain cancer-free immediately accompanied by a fear…