Love and Loss

Love and Loss

These past few weeks have been emotional. I said my final good-bye to someone I loved, and then I learned of the abrupt loss of a beautiful friend. Two people whose light has forever dimmed, and my heart aches for the loss.

“Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.” – Dr. Seuss

I have always been mindful of how quickly life can leave us – the finality of life. Even more so after my own journeys with cancer. I have therefore lived my life with that reality embedded in my heart. It reminds me to be kind, to be good, and to express my gratitude to those I love. I want them to know how incredibly important they are to me – each of my loved ones – family and friends. I do not want them to ever doubt how I feel/felt about them; and I do not wish to live with regret. Yet, I often do. Should I have called more? Visited more? Given more? Did they know just how much I cared? What could I have done to ensure that person, who is now lost to me, knew how grateful I am/was to have them in my life, and grateful that they chose to share a part of their life with me?

“You never know the last time you’ll see a place. A person.” – Jenny Han

Death is hard for those left behind. It is final. We are haunted with whispers, recollections, and tangible items such as photos or mementos. The emptiness we feel is vast. I will not hear their voice or see the twinkle in their eye when they smile. I will not feel their warmth in an embrace or the touch of their hand on mine. It is gone to me and to all who loved them. We suffer that void, mourn our loss, and we wish for one last moment, one final smile shared. Yet, it is only in the ghostly passings of our memory where those moments now reside.

And so, I share those memories with my son. It is my way of honouring the impact they had on me and my life. I am who I am because we shared moments in time, and because we gave to each other, friendship and love.

“Remember me and smile, for it’s better to forget than to remember me and cry.” – Dr. Seuss

I think of the good-byes I never got to say – to family, to friends – lost to me along the way. I feel the open wounds in my heart. Over time, my heart heals around those wounds, but the loss is forever felt, it never truly goes away. Little moments presenting themselves as snapshots in my mind, and imprints in my soul. Loss is a part of love. This I know.

I have always remarked on how precarious and precious life is. It really, truly is. So embrace those moments, even if fleeting. Share your light, your love, and your kindness. Leave your lasting imprint in those you love. We only have each other in this world.

Love. It’s really all that matters.

Love and Loss. Published by Crystal Joy Hall

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