I have found it quite difficult, of late, to pull my thoughts together and create a cohesive piece of writing. I am not sure of the reason, or reasons, I just know I am stuck – like a tire spinning in mud – I’m spewing out random bits of thought yet unable to pull it all together into one fluid piece. I am certain I am not alone. Most writers and bloggers hit a wall from time-to-time, and have to figure out how to work around/through/over the barrier. I am that writer in that moment. And it frightens me. Am I losing my grip? Is my focus gone? Will I be able to pen engaging posts again? What is the cause of my muddled thoughts and my fuzzy focus? How can I break through this barrier and re-engage my audience? I have spent weeks mulling all of this over, agonizing at the loss of my ability to put my thoughts into words, feeling the pressure, anxiety, and fear of writer’s block. And, as my 9-year old would say, “It sucks”.
It wasn’t until a very recent conversation with my friend, did my AhHa moment come. As I summarized the many challenges I had been up against these past few months, she was kind enough to not only listen but also provide me with insight – clarity. It was as though she drew the curtains back to let in the light. And that is when I saw it clear as day – my life, teetering off-balance – and it has been for awhile. Over these past several months, I have allowed the demands of work to seep into my personal life at all hours of the day and night. The concerns I brought forth in my post Chasing Days were not resolved. Yes, I coped, but I did not make the necessary changes to bring balance back into my life. That is why I have been feeling so utterly rattled and completely askew, and that is the root cause of my writer’s block. It is time to resolve this.
I need to re-establish boundaries and firmly hold to them. As someone who works part-time hours at an hourly wage, I need to keep work at work. In other words, no more unpaid personal time should be given over to work. This has been an extremely skewed area these past 7 months and truthfully, it is impacting my life. And, it is impacting my writing. Since September, when I stepped into my new role I somehow lost sight of myself. I lost my sense of direction. I haven’t tapped into my creative soul. I haven’t been writing. For example, I have only written 8 posts for my blog these past 6 months. Now, I realize that I do not make an income on my blog, and so, why should it matter if I am not writing? It does matter. It is a clear reflection that I am not honouring myself. I am not honouring my time. I am not valuing my personal worth. Too frequently I am contacted outside of my work hours to solve issues/concerns/conflicts for work when I am not working, and worse, not getting paid to complete those off-duty tasks. Is that fair? Is that work-life balance? Is that valuing my time and my worth? No, it is not. And, I know better than that. THAT was my AhHa moment. I allowed this to happen because I did not remain firm in my boundaries at the onset of my new role. I did not place value on my time, or worth in myself. Therefore, I place the blame entirely on myself because I know better than that. It is my responsibility to establish my boundaries, to hold firm to them, and not to bend. This does not mean that I do not love what I do within my professional life. Because, I truly do. But, I must also honour myself. My time is not free. My personal worth is of value.
Placing value on your personal worth as well as your time is an important life lesson. It is a lesson I learned when I was diagnosed with breast cancer, and a lesson that I should not have forgotten these past 7 months. Always honour yourself. Your time is of value as is your worth. After my diagnosis, I came to understand that my personal needs and that of my family should always come first. If they do not, if my health and my family are suffering, then everything else in my life suffers along with it. It’s a snowball effect. If I do not have balance in my life then I will not perform at my best and I will not thrive, and therefore, the company will not thrive. To ensure this does not happen I must re-establish and hold firmly to my boundaries. If I wish to achieve and maintain balance in my life, I must adhere to this life lesson.
I leave you all with a passage, from a favourite quote [author unknown], which often provides me with both assurance as well as humility.
In all of the universe, in all time, you are the only you. Never before have molecules come together exactly like you. Never again will your footsteps be repeated upon the earth.
Dare to make the difference that only you can make. Value your worth and your time. Do not take yourself – your life – for granted. There is only one You. You only have this one life to live.
A Life Lesson. Published by Crystal Joy Hall
Featured Image by Pixabay
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